As I am waiting to onboard the flight to Los Angeles from Doha, Qatar, I had time to look back at my life and analyse my success and failures. 

One of the prominent reason for my failure was, I treated failure as a failure. I had a fear of failure for  every initiatives or important tasks I took on. This resulted a defensive approach in my actions. I wanted to be first in SSC exam. I started reading everything for a study subject because I had a fear of missing a single answer for a given chapter in exam. It lead me to the unplanned, overburden and unrealistic approach. There were many other situations in my computer study where a little more effort and fearless approach could have resulted in great success.  

I met with an accident in 2002 while riding a pillion in Bajaj scooter. I stopped driving two wheelers. This created a fear within me over a period of time and made me believe that driving is not easy. I developed  a fear of driving four wheelers and at some point of time in my life I felt that why these people are not making all cars as Auto Transmitting or gearless  which are very easy to drive. 

Everytime I wrote a piece of code, I had a fear that it might break in production. I became very defensive in my coding . The good part of it was, it made me quality developer. The downside was it made me a slow developer. It started taking time for me to come up with POC, learning new technologies and adopting it. 

I had fear of speaking in English, being a part of onsite client call, people laughing on me and many more. This restricted my inner ability. The fear of failure stopped me from taking big and bold steps. I could not utilize my all talent and most of my time went in unproductive thinking.  

Then I realized, I need to change my approach. I started treating my failure as  learning which helped me to overcome the frustation and negative feeling. 

Now I don’t care of failures. I just try my best. I know, whether I succeed or not, I am going  to learn always. I am fearless , I am a learner.